I think we all can agree that the past two weeks were ridiculous. 16 days without a functioning government?!
When my brother and I fight, we can't decide to just not be siblings if we can't get along. How does the government get to decide to just not be a government because they aren't getting along?!
If this ridiculousness had taken place in any other country but America, I guarantee you that we would have been laughing at their incompetence. Ha ha ha, [insert Eurasian-sounding country here] cannot keep their government open!
The CDC's functioning was basically eliminated. Gee, what a great time for bioterrorism because no one in Congress can get their act together!
The national parks were closed. Great, because our country could actually use less exercise and recreation.
The panda cam was down. NOT OKAY.
To take a page out of Ted Cruz's book, I am going to conclude this post with a Dr. Seuss-inspired poem about congressmen:
I do not like them in the House.
I do not like M. Bachmann's blouse.
I do not like them on the Hill,
I did not like this whole standstill.
I do not like the shutdown sham.
I do not like them, Uncle Sam.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Youth Is Misused By The Young
My generation touts itself as the experts on technology. Anything high tech is specifically marketed at us to pique out interest. Shiny, new products can only be used by millennials.
Or so we think.
Turns out, the older generation is pretty with it too. Sure, they might not tweet/Instagram/iMessage every experience they have, but they still manage to make technology work in a way we never thought it could.
Example A:
As shocked as I was to find out that such a big font size even existed, I have to commend this old lady on using a smart phone's abilities to her advantage. Maybe we still have something to learn.
Or so we think.
Turns out, the older generation is pretty with it too. Sure, they might not tweet/Instagram/iMessage every experience they have, but they still manage to make technology work in a way we never thought it could.
Example A:
As shocked as I was to find out that such a big font size even existed, I have to commend this old lady on using a smart phone's abilities to her advantage. Maybe we still have something to learn.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
What DOES The Fox Say?
The Internet is awesome.
Case in point.
(credit to my brother for introducing me to this creation)
It's absurd. And amazing. And must have had a ridiculous production value.
In just over a month, it has 122 million views, which (sadly) is half of Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball" video, but that is neither here nor there.
I would pay big money to have been a fly on the wall at the production meeting when Ylvis + co. pitched this concept. It makes no sense, and yet it makes so much sense. And, it makes you wonder why anyone didn't think of this before (unless they did and just didn't have the expendable budget/free time to produce it...)
Ellen covered it. It's been touted as the new Gangnam Style. (Don't worry, Psy, it's not).
Turns out there is a reason the video was made...but I prefer to believe they really were just curious.
Case in point.
(credit to my brother for introducing me to this creation)
It's absurd. And amazing. And must have had a ridiculous production value.
In just over a month, it has 122 million views, which (sadly) is half of Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball" video, but that is neither here nor there.
I would pay big money to have been a fly on the wall at the production meeting when Ylvis + co. pitched this concept. It makes no sense, and yet it makes so much sense. And, it makes you wonder why anyone didn't think of this before (unless they did and just didn't have the expendable budget/free time to produce it...)
Ellen covered it. It's been touted as the new Gangnam Style. (Don't worry, Psy, it's not).
Turns out there is a reason the video was made...but I prefer to believe they really were just curious.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Things That Exist But Shouldn't - Part 11
11) Bad Dreams
I have an important day today. Between a long-planned (hard to get) doctor's appointment and a grad school interview, it is important that I stay on time for the entirety of the day.
Naturally, I'm a little anxious about it, as confirmed by my subconscious.
I had no shortage of three bad dreams last night in which I overslept, forgot something, or was running detrimentally late.
Fortunately, when I woke up this morning, I realized that none of them had come true. But I spent the night tossing and turning from the images of showing up in ripped pantyhose, chipped nail polish, or earring-less. Although I was relieved to find out that none of them came true (so far...), I would have preferred a more restful night.
I have an important day today. Between a long-planned (hard to get) doctor's appointment and a grad school interview, it is important that I stay on time for the entirety of the day.
Naturally, I'm a little anxious about it, as confirmed by my subconscious.
I had no shortage of three bad dreams last night in which I overslept, forgot something, or was running detrimentally late.
Fortunately, when I woke up this morning, I realized that none of them had come true. But I spent the night tossing and turning from the images of showing up in ripped pantyhose, chipped nail polish, or earring-less. Although I was relieved to find out that none of them came true (so far...), I would have preferred a more restful night.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Make Way For Me
Did you know that some people are more important than other people?
Did you know that some people have the right to dictate what other people do?
No? You didn't?
Well, neither did I.
However, a fellow commuter took it upon herself to teach me that.
I was on a crowded bus during rush hour. The only area I had to stand in was close to a door. When the next stop came, everyone tried to push through to get off. However, there were equally as many people waiting to get on.
As people exited with fervor and aggression, I could not move farther inside the bus. Instead, I stood as far away from the doorway as possible.
One woman, frustrated that she + her oversized bag couldn't fit through the door, said to me:
"Can you just get OFF the bus?!"
Everyone knows that you don't ever leave the bus/subway car that you're on. As soon as you do, you forfeit your spot and are susceptible to losing it forever as new people rush in, replacing you.
I didn't get off.
Did you know that some people have the right to dictate what other people do?
No? You didn't?
Well, neither did I.
However, a fellow commuter took it upon herself to teach me that.
I was on a crowded bus during rush hour. The only area I had to stand in was close to a door. When the next stop came, everyone tried to push through to get off. However, there were equally as many people waiting to get on.
As people exited with fervor and aggression, I could not move farther inside the bus. Instead, I stood as far away from the doorway as possible.
One woman, frustrated that she + her oversized bag couldn't fit through the door, said to me:
"Can you just get OFF the bus?!"
Everyone knows that you don't ever leave the bus/subway car that you're on. As soon as you do, you forfeit your spot and are susceptible to losing it forever as new people rush in, replacing you.
I didn't get off.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Oversleeping
Well, I got caught. Tuesday had totally exhausted me, but I promised myself that I would get a good night's sleep and post in the morning.
Instead, I woke up at 8:17 AM and left my apartment at 8:32, miraculously making it to work just on time.
Apparently, in my sleep-deprived state, instead of just snoozing my alarm, I completely turned it off. I believe that in this day and age, we should have a cell phone alarm that works similarly to a Breathalyzer; if you're too sleepy, you cannot turn it off.
Needless to say, it threw off the rest of my day. And made me miss a blog post.
Mad props to the ladies of the Skimm who manage to get the news in my inbox every morning without fail.
Instead, I woke up at 8:17 AM and left my apartment at 8:32, miraculously making it to work just on time.
Apparently, in my sleep-deprived state, instead of just snoozing my alarm, I completely turned it off. I believe that in this day and age, we should have a cell phone alarm that works similarly to a Breathalyzer; if you're too sleepy, you cannot turn it off.
Needless to say, it threw off the rest of my day. And made me miss a blog post.
Mad props to the ladies of the Skimm who manage to get the news in my inbox every morning without fail.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
The Name Game
Fact: My roommate and I are obsessed with Jeopardy.
We each actively try to make it home in time for 7 PM to watch it live. One of my biggest motivations for getting DVR was the ability to watch recorded Jeopardy shows whenever the mood strikes me.
In addition to all the interesting facts I've learned (or miraculously already knew) from Jeopardy, by far the most surprising one has been that contestants never have the same name.
Statistically, this doesn't seem possible. I have gone through 16 years of schooling and there was always a Michael P./Michael D./Michael M. or (less fortunately for me) a Sarah A./Sarah T./Sarah G.
There are enough common names in American culture that it doesn't seem possible for there to never to be a duplicate name. Think about it: even if the producers choose three uniquely-named contestants, there is always a returning champion. How is it possible that this returning champion never shares a name with a fellow contestant?!
Conspiracy.
We each actively try to make it home in time for 7 PM to watch it live. One of my biggest motivations for getting DVR was the ability to watch recorded Jeopardy shows whenever the mood strikes me.
In addition to all the interesting facts I've learned (or miraculously already knew) from Jeopardy, by far the most surprising one has been that contestants never have the same name.
Statistically, this doesn't seem possible. I have gone through 16 years of schooling and there was always a Michael P./Michael D./Michael M. or (less fortunately for me) a Sarah A./Sarah T./Sarah G.
There are enough common names in American culture that it doesn't seem possible for there to never to be a duplicate name. Think about it: even if the producers choose three uniquely-named contestants, there is always a returning champion. How is it possible that this returning champion never shares a name with a fellow contestant?!
Conspiracy.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Things That Exist But Shouldn't - Part 10
10) Sweat
Thanks to my science education, I understand that biologically, sweat is necessary. It helps to cool the body in times of stress, intense activity, or illness. Despite these logical reasons, however, I still can't help but hate it when I look like I got caught in the rain.
When I'm exercising, dripping in sweat only reminds me how unnaturally arduous my workout is. It is very hard to keep up the stamina to do push ups as my perspiration pools below me. Obviously, I prefer exercising in the pool.
When I'm sick and already feeling crappy, sweating out the equivalence of my body weight while simultaneously shivering is just about as unpleasant as it gets.
The worst, however, is when you're in fancy clothes (think job interview) and your nerves + heavy clothing make it virtually impossible for your skin to ventilate. The result is your sweat is now contained within your rarely-worn clothes, and now you must pay to get them dry cleaned.
Thanks to my science education, I understand that biologically, sweat is necessary. It helps to cool the body in times of stress, intense activity, or illness. Despite these logical reasons, however, I still can't help but hate it when I look like I got caught in the rain.
When I'm exercising, dripping in sweat only reminds me how unnaturally arduous my workout is. It is very hard to keep up the stamina to do push ups as my perspiration pools below me. Obviously, I prefer exercising in the pool.
When I'm sick and already feeling crappy, sweating out the equivalence of my body weight while simultaneously shivering is just about as unpleasant as it gets.
The worst, however, is when you're in fancy clothes (think job interview) and your nerves + heavy clothing make it virtually impossible for your skin to ventilate. The result is your sweat is now contained within your rarely-worn clothes, and now you must pay to get them dry cleaned.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Play Nice and Make Up
When my brother and I were kids and would often fight - who am I kidding, we still do - my parents had a strategy.
Regardless of who was in the wrong (which was never me, in my opinion), my brother and I had to sit together and talk it out until we came out holding hands.
We always decided that pretending to make up was better than sitting in time out, so we would agree to disagree and emerge imminently. We thought we were outsmarting our parents by doing this...but in fact, in worked every time, because by the time we came out, we didn't even remember what we were fighting about in the first place.
Now, I'm not saying that Democrats and Republicans should have a big hand-holding orgy, but perhaps the incentives on each side have to be intensified to get over this ridiculous fight. No one wants to be stuck in time out.
Regardless of who was in the wrong (which was never me, in my opinion), my brother and I had to sit together and talk it out until we came out holding hands.
We always decided that pretending to make up was better than sitting in time out, so we would agree to disagree and emerge imminently. We thought we were outsmarting our parents by doing this...but in fact, in worked every time, because by the time we came out, we didn't even remember what we were fighting about in the first place.
Now, I'm not saying that Democrats and Republicans should have a big hand-holding orgy, but perhaps the incentives on each side have to be intensified to get over this ridiculous fight. No one wants to be stuck in time out.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Semitism Semantics
Recently, my predominantly-Jewish hometown has been experiencing quite a bit of controversy.
Here's my personal backstory:
Over the summer, I went into Hobby Lobby to buy a few crafts, since the store is marginally closer to my house than Michael's or AC Moore.
When I was in there, I overheard two employees having a "serious discussion."
Employee 1: So apparently a lot of people in this town celebrate "Hanukkah"
Employee 2: What is that?
Employee 1: A Jewish holiday
Employee 2: Oh. So?
Employee 1: We don't have any Hanukkah merchandise in stock
Employee 2: Well, it's too late to order anything
This was back in June.
A few days ago, this article surfaced online.
Soon after, we received a blast email from our mayor:
------------------------------------------------------------
Marlboro Resident:
Over the last few days, many Marlboro residents have been understandably upset by conversations they reported to have had with Hobby Lobby employees at both the local and corporate level.
Today, I spoke with both the owner of Marlboro Plaza and senior executives at Hobby Lobby. I made them all very aware of the concerns that were being raised by our residents. The Company assured me that they will revisit their holiday item buying in our area and would address any employees who gave the impression that somehow Hobby Lobby would not be welcoming to any segment of our population. Below you will find the email I received from Hobby Lobby in response to our conversation.
We in Marlboro are proud of the great diversity of our population, and at every opportunity, we make an effort to celebrate it. It has been my experience that our corporate citizens share in this sense of community and cultural pride, and, as such, I am hopeful that the Company's stated intent will be fully realized.
Mayor Jon Hornik
"Dear Mayor Hornik,
Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. is currently working with our buyers over our merchandise selection. Our customers have brought this to our attention and we are currently evaluating our Holiday items and what we will carry in the future.
Alleged comments made by employees are currently being investigated and will be addressed accordingly. These comments are in no way indicative of Hobby Lobby culture, the owners and the operators.
Marlboro is a great city and has wonderful people and we are blessed to be a part the community.
Vince Parker
Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc."
------------------------------------------------------------
Similar articles, such as this one, keep appearing. My rabbi even weighed in.
We made it onto my favorite website in the entire world, Buzzfeed. (A blessing and a curse)
Whether intentional or not, this merchandise bigotry is going to backfire on them. Don't get me wrong; privately-owned stores are entitled to sell whatever they want. But, when stores start telling customers that they don't cater to certain "people," it begins to look a little too familiar.
Here's my personal backstory:
Over the summer, I went into Hobby Lobby to buy a few crafts, since the store is marginally closer to my house than Michael's or AC Moore.
When I was in there, I overheard two employees having a "serious discussion."
Employee 1: So apparently a lot of people in this town celebrate "Hanukkah"
Employee 2: What is that?
Employee 1: A Jewish holiday
Employee 2: Oh. So?
Employee 1: We don't have any Hanukkah merchandise in stock
Employee 2: Well, it's too late to order anything
This was back in June.
A few days ago, this article surfaced online.
Soon after, we received a blast email from our mayor:
------------------------------------------------------------
Marlboro Resident:
Over the last few days, many Marlboro residents have been understandably upset by conversations they reported to have had with Hobby Lobby employees at both the local and corporate level.
Today, I spoke with both the owner of Marlboro Plaza and senior executives at Hobby Lobby. I made them all very aware of the concerns that were being raised by our residents. The Company assured me that they will revisit their holiday item buying in our area and would address any employees who gave the impression that somehow Hobby Lobby would not be welcoming to any segment of our population. Below you will find the email I received from Hobby Lobby in response to our conversation.
We in Marlboro are proud of the great diversity of our population, and at every opportunity, we make an effort to celebrate it. It has been my experience that our corporate citizens share in this sense of community and cultural pride, and, as such, I am hopeful that the Company's stated intent will be fully realized.
Mayor Jon Hornik
"Dear Mayor Hornik,
Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. is currently working with our buyers over our merchandise selection. Our customers have brought this to our attention and we are currently evaluating our Holiday items and what we will carry in the future.
Alleged comments made by employees are currently being investigated and will be addressed accordingly. These comments are in no way indicative of Hobby Lobby culture, the owners and the operators.
Marlboro is a great city and has wonderful people and we are blessed to be a part the community.
Vince Parker
Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc."
------------------------------------------------------------
Similar articles, such as this one, keep appearing. My rabbi even weighed in.
We made it onto my favorite website in the entire world, Buzzfeed. (A blessing and a curse)
Whether intentional or not, this merchandise bigotry is going to backfire on them. Don't get me wrong; privately-owned stores are entitled to sell whatever they want. But, when stores start telling customers that they don't cater to certain "people," it begins to look a little too familiar.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Life Goals (continued)
-Learn to drive a stick shift
-Have more 'followers' than 'following' on Twitter
(and not just by deleting people)
-Cook a dish that is so delicious that people always request I make it when I come visit
-Sell a piece of art - that I made - to someone else
(family/friends doesn't count)
-Be the person to say "LIVE from New York, it's Saturday night!"
-Have more 'followers' than 'following' on Twitter
(and not just by deleting people)
-Cook a dish that is so delicious that people always request I make it when I come visit
-Sell a piece of art - that I made - to someone else
(family/friends doesn't count)
-Be the person to say "LIVE from New York, it's Saturday night!"
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Surprising Finds
Last week, I was having a particularly stressful day and my mind was unusually scattered.
I did some errands straight after work and then hopped on a bus to go home. To pass time, I called my mom to kvetch about my day, which ended up distracting me more than it should have. It wasn't until I walked into my apartment that I realized I had left the bag with my recent purchases on the bus. (Of course, this proceeded to make me even more stressed).
The one silver lining in this experience was my discovery of the thoroughness of MTA's Lost and Found website.
There is a very comprehensive form that one can fill out to report a lost item, but I was more excited by what I found:
I suppose that there have been enough instances of forgotten prayer paraphernalia on public transportation to merit its own subcategory. New York City: you're seriously awesome.
I did some errands straight after work and then hopped on a bus to go home. To pass time, I called my mom to kvetch about my day, which ended up distracting me more than it should have. It wasn't until I walked into my apartment that I realized I had left the bag with my recent purchases on the bus. (Of course, this proceeded to make me even more stressed).
The one silver lining in this experience was my discovery of the thoroughness of MTA's Lost and Found website.
There is a very comprehensive form that one can fill out to report a lost item, but I was more excited by what I found:
I suppose that there have been enough instances of forgotten prayer paraphernalia on public transportation to merit its own subcategory. New York City: you're seriously awesome.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)