100!

I've reached my 100th post! What a feat!

To honor it, I created another blog. It's a totally different concept but (ideally) even more entertaining.

Enjoy, and share with friends!

Things That Exist But Shouldn't - Part 20

20) Sideways Rain

It's raining, it's pouring
I'm soaking wet and really, really cold. 

Anyone in the tri-state area yesterday experienced the horrid downpour of nonstop rain. It didn't just fall straight down. It fell sideways, forwards, backwards. At one point I was convinced it was coming up from the ground.

Nathan W. Pyle drew it perfectly.

In just two short blocks of walking, my brother and I were drenched from every angle.  

I love a rainy day from inside my warm (dry) bed. I can usually handle walking in the rain, provided I can predict what angle the rain is coming from. When it falls sideways, though, it's just too much to handle.

Sideways snow, however, is beautiful. It's kind of like walking inside of a snow globe.

Cabbie Say What?

My younger brother – a non-native New Yorker – visited me in the city this past week. He remarked on how ridiculously easy it is to take a cab that will drive you anywhere in the city at your request. In light of his appreciation for cabs, I am dedicating this post to him.

Recently, I took a cab home from the movies (it was freezing cold & I was lazy) and my cab driver was blabbering on his phone in a language I couldn't understand. (See my past post about taxi drivers and their phone habits.)

I decided to do what everyone else does to pass the time and take out my phone. (Anything that requires waiting for more than 10 seconds means the phone must come out.) I had tuned my driver out and was scrolling through Christmas Eve pictures on Instagram when the background noise suddenly changed – he had stopped talking. 

I looked up from my phone in confusion, wondering what had caused this period of silence, when the driver repeated, "Merry Christmas!"

Apparently, his phone conversation had ended and he had begun a conversation with me in the same breath.

I felt bad. I really did. But his intonations and inflections in wishing me this seasonal greeting in English were exactly the same as when he was speaking in his native language, and I did not notice the differentiation until there was a period of silence.

I appreciated the interaction, but I just didn't see (or rather, hear) it coming. 

As soon as I wished him a Merry Christmas back, however, he picked up his phone and called another friend, leaving me to get back to Instagram.

The Gift of Time

I decided to go shopping the day before Christmas. Crazy, I know. But I had a doctor's appointment two blocks from Bloomingdale's, and I couldn't resist popping in.

The wonderful thing was that since I don't celebrate Christmas, I was in no rush to shop. There was no urgency to buy last-minute presents to get them wrapped before evening. Rather, I had nothing to do for the afternoon, so I took my time browsing display cases and touching soft things (my favorite thing to do).

This was the first time in a long time that I had been out shopping without an agenda or a place to be. I ended up in the pocketbook section and a lovely saleslady named Jihan promised she would help me after the next customer. I waited, because I could. When she finished, she came over to me, and gave me 30 minutes of her time, including allowing me to take the stuffing out of all the bags. 

When I finally decided on a beautiful bag to splurge on (oops, I guess I did want to do some shopping after all), she went down to the storeroom to find me a brand new one, even though there were 5 out on display. 

It was really, really fun. I have rarely enjoyed a shopping experience as much as I did that day. I recommend it. Just don't go shopping today...the day after Christmas is a far crazier day than the day before.

Matters of the Mind

It's rare that a week goes by without hearing about a new study that claims [something] prevents against aging and/or dementia.

At this point, I think we all can agree that certain habits have undeniably positive correlations with longevity and mental health.

Sleep is one of them.
It looks like coffee* is close to earning universal approval.   
Next on the list are brain exercises, which are encouraged to keep your mind young.

My grandmother was big on Sudoku, and – bless her – once called Will Shortz, Puzzle Creator, to ask him personally for advice on how to solve the toughest puzzles.

The other day, however, I saw a middle-aged woman sitting in Grand Central Station doing a word search titled "Keep Your Brain from Going Soft!" While I appreciated the fact that she was doing something on a piece of paper (unlike the 250 people around me all on their cell phones), it got me thinking that a word search might not be the most stimulating activity. It requires no mental math or critical analysis. There is no memory recall needed (there's a word bank at the bottom!), so I really don't think it gives the brain any sort of a workout. Her time would probably be better spent reading a book or doing a crossword puzzle that would require her to think more than her current activity.

But, hey, you never know. Research is always changing, and maybe a study will come out soon declaring that word searches are the best way to keep your wits about you, thus proving me wrong. Who am I to say? I'm not a neurologist...yet ;)

*I print out all of the ones related to coffee to use in my arsenal in case I am accused of being far too addicted to it.

Things That Exist But Shouldn't - Part 19

19) Teen Smokers

This should be an obvious one, but, unfortunately, it really is not.

Since elementary school, I was educated by health teachers and school police officers about the harmful side effects of tobacco. We spent hours making posters encouraging our peers to quit (perhaps a bit young of a target population). I vividly remember the times my brother and I would boldly walk up to our chain-smoking neighbor to tell him about the dangers of his habit. He didn't seem to mind the lecture, but he also didn't stop.

I realize that when cigarettes were first introduced, their toxicity wasn't recognized. Therefore, everyone smoked - and encouraged others to do so - and it was a socially acceptable habit (at least according to Mad Men).

What I don't understand, however, is how the young generation - teenagers and up - who, like me, have grown up with D.A.R.E. propaganda fed to us on the daily are actually inclined to start smoking. I remember when restaurants had smoking and non-smoking sections; now, you can get kicked out for smoking within 10 feet of the entrance. College campuses are going smoke-free, making it harder and harder for individuals to keep up with the habit (if they are dumb enough to start it in the first place).

Despite the existence of incredibly powerful anti-smoking ads like these, there are still people continuing to smoke and those who are starting a new. I just don't get it. 

Also, it's freaking expensive. If that's not reason enough to avoid the habit, then I'm not sure what will do it.

It's A Small World After All

The universe works in mysterious ways, and someone up there has quite the plan for me.

In the past two weeks, I have had the most absurd incidences of running into people to whom I somehow am connected (and curiously, all of these run-ins occurred on the train).

1) As I settled into my seat on the Metro North, I casually glanced across the aisle, and made eye contact with an older man who looked all too familiar. He stared back at me, and I finally realized how I knew him -- he had interviewed me for grad school just a few days ago. To make sure, I asked him if he worked at [grad school], and when I told him that he had interviewed me - because I wasn't sure he remembered - he said, "I know!"

He then came over and sat next to me for the entire 45-minute ride from Scarsdale to Grand Central. Needless to say, this was way more interview time than I had bargained for, although he seemed to be quite laid back about it. He gave me advice on where I should go to grad school (curiously, he didn't name his own place of employment...) and said a few comments that were definitely borderline racist. So of course, it was really entertaining. At the end of our ride together, he gave me his card. If I don't get into that school now, I definitely know whom to blame.

2) I took Amtrak last week to visit Philadelphia for a grad school interview (at off times of the day, it's quite inexpensive to travel with them). On my return trip, I was looking for a seat when a friendly middle-aged man offered the seat next to him. He even held out his hand to hold my coffee as I got settled (which instantly made me like him). We got to talking on our 1.5 hour ride, first about Candy Crush (he was stuck on level 79) to my graduate school aspirations. He showed me pictures of his recent trip to Israel (always an instant connection). We learned that his daughter is currently attending my dream grad school and his son's alma mater is my undergraduate college. Although I had prepared many activities for the ride, it was far more enjoyable to make friends with a complete stranger. I requested him on LinkedIn (it seemed most appropriate), and maybe our paths will cross again!

3) Just this week, I got off a rush-hour train (although I was reverse-commuting) in Grand Central and starting fighting my way down the platform to the terminal. Out of the corner of my eye I see a face that looks familiar, so I turn and stare -- it's my aunt! I grabbed her arm so she turned to face me (also, I wanted to confirm that it really was her). The look on her face as she registered who was grabbing her was priceless. We ended up chatting for a little bit and learned that we had been on the same train (she from work, going into Manhattan for a book club & me from tutoring, going home to my apartment). Such a lovely surprise to be caught among the commuter frenzy and see someone with whom you share genes.


I think I should just ride the train more often.

'Tis the Season

Tinsel is hung and trees are lit. Shoppers flock to department stores, eager to purchase gifts for everyone on their list. In fact, they are so eager that they are willing to push anyone who gets in their way out of it.

A few days ago, I was shopping at Bloomingdale's on the UES (I thought it wise to avoid Herald Square mayhem), and was waiting in line at the jewelry counter. A saleswoman had already handed my soon-to-be purchase to the clerk, who was currently ringing up a different customer.

When the clerk finished with the customer, she help up my jewelry items and signaled for me to come to the register. As I moved closer, I suddenly felt a WHACK on my arm.

I turned around to see a middle-aged woman (with skin severely damaged from years of tanning beds) and she said, "EXCUSE ME. IT'S MY TURN."

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that being rude entitled you to preferential treatment. 

Luckily, the clerk stepped in to tell her that I had been there first. But, really -- resorting to physical violence to try to get your way?!

She is definitely on the Naughty list.

Questionable Pick-Up Methods

1 out of every 3 New York men think they're the universe's gift to women.* They are convinced that you will accept their marriage proposal on the spot simply because they took the time out of their day to acknowledge you.


Examples:

1) A few weeks ago, I was out doing some grocery shopping. On my way home, I passed the entrance of a major hospital (which happens to be close to my apartment). A block past it, I made eye contact with an older man, who - when he saw me - clutched his heart. 

I ran over to him, fearing that he was having a heart attack and trying to make it to the hospital in time.

When I asked him if he was okay, he responded, "No. Seeing you made my heart stop."

Nice try, but the proximity to the hospital happened to be an unfortunate coincidence, and I was no longer in the mood to be wooed. (He was also triple my age...)


2) While waiting for a bus uptown, a guy around my age started talking to me. He told me that he was on his way home from the gym and taking the bus just one stop (less than 10 blocks) to go home. Naturally, I pointed out the contradiction of being the laziest person ever after the gym, but he ignored me and kept chatting about himself. 

I learned that he is from Brazil, where his parents currently reside. So, according to him, it's just him here in NYC...well, him and -- (he proceeded to roll up his sleeve, revealing a WWJD bracelet) -- Jesus.

I was definitely surprised by his religious forthcoming while on public transportation, but it didn't bother me so much. That is, until he pointed at my Hadaya ring (six months young from my last trip to Israel) and asked what it is. He noticed the Hebrew engraving, and his eyes got wide. 

He proceeded to ramble about how religions are all fundamentally the same and the only thing that really matters is if you are a good person. Bottom line: it got awkward. Fast. 


Needless to say, neither of these two potential suitors worked out. I have confidence that there will be others. I can't wait.


*This is based on my personal opinion. No research was involved.

Oh Deer

Time for a lighter post.

Everyone loves a good autocorrect story. But what happens when you accidentally read a word incorrectly and continue the conversation...even though the topic seems strange?

I was interviewing at a graduate school and noticed that each door was adorned with a mezuzah. My mom misread the text and thought I said that each deer had a mezuzah. Despite the fact that that idea is TOTALLY weird, she accepted it (even after my kosher comment) and did not realize until hours later that she had misread my first message. She later told me that she had pictured wire deer lawn ornaments with mezuzot around their neck....which would actually be pretty cool.

Things That Exist But Shouldn't - Part 18

18) Access to Firearms

This post is going to be a little more serious than others, simply because I think it needs to be said and I don't (usually) like using my Facebook to get all political. #ReadyForHillary

This past Friday - a day before the anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting - another individual took advantage of lax gun control laws and opened fire at a school. One victim remains in a coma in life-threatening condition.

This is the second shooting in the past year and a half in Colorado alone, and what seems like the millionth nationwide in my lifetime.

The past two decades have been marked with horribly tragic shootings. 
The lessons that they each have taught us are:

1) There is not always a known motive
2) No area is safer than others -- it makes no difference whether it's an elementary school, a movie theater, or a mall
3) Guns are far too easy to buy

Clearly, I come from the mindset that stricter gun regulations should be in place. I'm pretty sure the Second Amendment did not intend for the general public to have access to machinery capable of massive destruction. Machine guns were not designed to be used by the average civilian. Why can someone walk into a store and walk out with a weapon? Impulse buys should be reserved for $6 lip gloss.

Each time a tragedy happens, we (the public) beg them (the lawmakers) for tighter regulations. Every shooting is further evidence of the necessity of these laws, and yet nothing has been done. It keeps happening.

The media has also irresponsibly elevated the shooter to a celebrity level. We should not know this much about Adam Lanza's high school experience or exactly when Seung-Hui Cho emigrated to America. The shooters are perversely idolized, and I can't even imagine what seed that plants in the minds of other would-be shooters.

I also can't stand the immediate parallel drawn between these shooters and their mental states. Autism? Depression? Proclivity for violent video games? Those factors together probably describe half of America. What is the point of looking into the shooter's personal history or analyzing their DNA for a "violent gene"? We are not going to persecute other "would-be" shooters who might have increased risk factors because they haven't actually done anything. Don't forget, this is still America.

What we can do is take control access to guns and keep tabs on those that are sold to have an idea of who's putting them to use.

Guns don't kill people. People with guns kill people. So let's take away those guns.

Spice Up Your Life

Tis the season for flavored caffeinated beverages. 

Pumpkin spice lattes (or as my friend abbreviates them, PSLs) were all the rage in October. Now that Christmas season is here (I can say that without being accused of being non-PC, seeing as Hanukkah is officially over), peppermint spice is now trending.

I had the cutest interaction with an elderly lady a few weeks ago at Starbucks concerning the spiciness of said drinks.

"Excuse me, miss. How spicy do you think the pumpkin spice drink is?"
     --Oh, it's not spicy at all. At least not in the way a chili pepper is. It just means flavorful.
"But, how spicy? I really can't handle much spice."
     --It's spicy in the way that cinnamon is a spice. Not hot and spicy.
"Hmm...well, OK."

She ordered a chai tea.

Does This Make You Look Fat?

We've probably all been guilty of it. We've been tagged on Facebook in pictures where we look GREAT, but the other person/people in the photo look terrible. Red eye, squinty eye, mid-sneeze...it's clearly a disastrous photo for them. But you look so good.


It's hard taking a good group photo (despite the existence of digital cameras iPhones that allow you to preview each picture after taking it).

So, rather than awkwardly crop them out of the photo and make it even more obvious that you did so, you make it your profile picture, in the hopes that Facebook followers will be focused on how good you look in the picture rather than how bad you look for publicizing the ugly photo of your friend.

Example A:

Source: http://www.teen.com/2012/07/17/im-bored/embarrassing-celebrity-photos-blinking/

Pete Wentz looks great. Ashlee Simpson does not. This picture was posted...and now they're divorced. Just saying.
 

Unneccessary Advertising

One of the greatest things about living in New York City is that you can get just about any food at any time of the day (or night). Many evenings, I have been returning home from bar hopping responsible fun, and the urge to eat something extremely greasy and doughy strikes me.

Fortunately, the Italian gods* invented 99¢ pizza. 

However, one of my favorite late-night haunts (coincidentally located around the corner from my favorite bar...) has some curious advertising.

The "99¢" and "PIZZA" are totally necessary for their sign. But why the word "FRESH"?! 

Let's be honest: no one is reading anything after "99¢"
Patrons of this classy establishment only care about the fact that their meal is going to cost less than a dollar.
And, if such delicious food (pizza) is going to be available to them at 4 AM, chances are you are not sober enough to care much about the quality of the pizza. Anything at this time of night would taste like manna from heaven.  

Also, don't we expect all food to be fresh? Have you ever seen other restaurants (I'm using that term loosely here) use the word "fresh" in their title? Starbucks FRESH coffee. Sounds awkward. I would prefer a more exciting adjective, like "gourmet." Or, nothing (and leave it up to the imagination).

"99¢ PIZZA" alone is enough to catch my eye. And worth every penny.


*Disclaimer: I know the Italian gods did no such thing. It was obviously the Romans.

Things That Should Exist (But Don't)

I'm no engineer (confer my brother for that), but there are some inventions that I think should exist and are (almost) within our capabilities to produce.

• A TV that shows different channels to each person watching it 
• Think about it. How many times have you wanted to share the same cozy space with a loved one/roommate/significant other, but disagreed over whether the Knicks game should have priority over Scandal?! (Hint: the answer is always the latter). How helpful would it be to share, conflict-free, the one flat screen surround-sound TV in your house (because who has more than one?!)

• Windshield wipers for your glasses
• OK, I know this idea is totally dorky, but for all you spectacled folk (which is everyone by now, seeing as it is "cool" to wear fake glasses too), you know the suffering that follows getting caught in the rain, resulting in total loss of vision. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to pull a Hermione and Impervius my glasses.

Things That Exist But Shouldn't - Part 17

17) Unhealthy Healthy Habits

Last week, I passed by an upscale apartment complex where spoiled 20-somethings live (not judging, though). I saw a girl standing under the awning, completely decked out in running gear. Lululemon pants for perfect ventilation while running. Impossibly clean sneakers with the "Nike+" attached to the laces, to allow her to monitor her speed while running. Headphones in, iPod armband on...but wait! What was she doing?

Smoking a cigarette.

I could not think of anything that is more hypocritical and counterproductive. Decreasing your lung function before doing something that is supposed to increase your cardiac health?! What?!

I couldn't believe that this girl was actively choosing to make unhealthy decisions (smoking) while preparing to do something very healthy (running). Wouldn't the second activity discourage the first? I almost wanted to walk up to her and tell her that it's quite contradictory to engage in both activities. Kinda like putting on a pair of very tight pants before Thanksgiving dinner.

Did I Hear That Right?

Before the internet gave me the ability to Google things like "lyrics to [song]" or "what song has the words ...." I very rarely got the lyrics right.

Often, I would sit down with my tape cassette (later, a CD) and replay segments of a song over and over, writing down words as I heard (and confirmed) them, to ensure that I had the complete full lyrics. Needless to say, this was not the most efficient method.

Finally, sites like Lyrics.com started popping up, allowing me to make some important clarifications:


Zedd - Clarity

You are a piece of meat, I wish I didn't eat
You are the piece of me, I wish I didn't need


Jay Z & Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind

I've become a wet dream tomato
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of


Kevin Lyttle - Turn Me On  ((courtesy of my brother's misinterpretation)

You got me going crazy, Mariah, Mariah
You got me going crazy, Turn me on, Turn me on


Fortunately, I am not the only one who has suffered in the absence of access to verified lyrics.

Incommunicado

We rely on our phones. We are addicted to the idea that we can contact anyone, anytime, anywhere, and immediately be able to reach them.

There's no longer a valid excuse for being unreachable because you "were out of the house." You are expected to have your cell phone on, powered, and in an area of superb cell service at all times.

The expectation is a little extreme, but (almost) all of us are guilty of this reliance of being in constant communication at all times.

The thing is, cell phones aren't perfect, and things like dead zones (i.e. the subway) exist, or the fact that your smart phone - or "computer phone," as my cousin calls it - can do everything but wipe your nose for you, loses battery power by the second.

I'll be honest that I have gotten frustrated with friends if we have prearranged plans and then their phone died/had no service, which put a foil into meeting up at exactly the right time in exactly the right location. However, (as my uncle recently reminded me), there was a time when the ability to communicate with people on the go was unfathomable, and yet friends still managed to meet up. Friendships were actually probably stronger, because no one had the ability to send the infamous lie of a text message -- "on the way!" -- when you haven't even left your apartment.

I'm trying to more and more to put my phone down, turn it upside down, and even - gasp! - leave it behind when I go to the gym. What would happen if I'm unreachable for a few hours? Probably nothing....although there is the frightening thought of something of significance happening in that time span and without your phone, you're the last to know. 

But, I'm really trying to move away from my iPhone reliance. One time, a few hours had gone by that I hadn't received a single text message. I had my mom text my phone just to confirm that it was still working. It was.

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Things That Exist But Shouldn't - Part 16

16) Black Friday

Perhaps I'm a few days late for this rant, but seeing as today is Cyber Monday (the internet's extension of Black Friday), I think I'm still within an appropriate time period to post.

Black Friday is insane. I decided to do a little research (via Google) as to where this ridiculous tradition started. Corporations and store owners chose to take advantage of the fact that most people have a 4-day weekend off from work...and need an excuse to get out of the house. And, with the "stress" of Thanksgiving now behind them, they are ready to prepare -- aka shop -- for Christmas.

Some stores will stop at nothing to get you hyped up for their deals. 

Example A: I received this promo in my inbox last night from a popular restaurant chain.

It's like Christmas in July...but in December!

 

Last time I checked, Christmas in December is Christmas. It's pretty ridiculous to attempt to use a holiday against itself to double the effect. But it doesn't just sop there.

Each year, stores have opened earlier and earlier, until 2012 when Walmart (of course) and its competitors decided to open on Thanksgiving Day....because no one would rather leave a warm house than line up in the cold (while your digestive enzymes wage war on your recent meal). In response, many people have been organizing protests aggressively posting on Facebook that we should boycott these stores.

It's not working. Why not?

If you're one of those people crazy enough to wait outside at 3 AM, what's a few more hours in the frigid night air? 
If you're willing to freeze your toes off -- instead of sleeping your meal off -- to get that plasma TV, you don't want to take the risk that someone will get to the store for the 8 PM opening the night before and snatch it up (and thus, your self-induced frostbite would be in vain).

I came across this (hopefully true) compilation of Black Friday horror stories, courtesy of Reddit.

Defecating in a dryer?!
Starbucks spontaneous entrepreneur?! (quite brilliant, actually...I'm a little bummed I didn't think to do that myself)
Trampling someone to DEATH?!

There is no way you can convince me that ANY sale would be worth dealing with crowds like these.

There is a disgusting website that keeps count of all the deaths and injuries that have been linked to rabid Black Friday shoppers. As absurd as it sounds, let's try to prevent The Onion from publishing an article that may turn out to be not so far-fetched.