1) Uncomfortable shoes that are also ugly
We suffer for fashion. I am the first one to admit to it. It’s
a fact of life that strapless bras, thongs, and stilettos are not manufactured
to provide the wearer with any degree of comfort. However, they automatically
increase the sex factor of whatever you’re wearing, thus making it worth the
daylong wedgie or worry that you’re at risk for a Janet Jackson Superbowl
2004 scandal.
The thing that makes NO sense, however, is the existence of
uncomfortable fashion items that are also hideous. I’m going to focus my discussion
on shoes. I know that Crocs help air your feet out and Dansko clogs offer great
for people on their feet all day (or who work on a farm milking cows). I know the
only nurse you will ever meet in heels is probably still waiting for the ink to
dry on her RN certification. I put up with the occasional frumpy strap or tacky bow on a
pair of Aerosoles wedges only because it feels like my feet are being held up by the
palms of angels.
But what happens when unfashionable meets unbearably painful?
What company could possibly manufacture items that not only decrease the
wearer’s ability to get laid but also their will to live for the rest of the
day while their feet slowly wage war on their circulatory system?! Suffering
unnecessarily in ugly shoes does not make you a fashionable martyr. You’re just masochist.
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P.S. Subscribe to my blog! And then explain to me how to do it so that I can teach my mom.
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