Jews are pretty lucky, because we get TWO chances to make resolutions (aka redo our failed ones from 9 months ago). Although one holiday has significantly less ball dropping, there is still a good amount of alcohol and waiting around involved in both. For the secular new year, the waiting revolves around the clock striking midnight. For the Jewish new year, it's the shofar. Similar enough.
My resolutions:
I will try my best to pay attention for at least 60% of the service.
I promise to only leave the sanctuary when I actually have to go to the bathroom, and not because the old lady's perfume is suffocating me.
I resolve to eat as much challah as possible before dinner time.
Happy New Year everyone, from the Fairway employees who think that all Jewish holidays involve matzah:
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