1) Search for your MetroCard while you're standing at the turnstile blocking other commuters
2) Stand idly on the left side of the escalator*
3) Change directions mid-stride and consequently bump into everyone on the sidewalk
4)
Carry around a giant umbrella (not the one that collapses neatly) and
proceed to accidentally poke people as you round corners
5) Wait until you are standing in front of the barista to contemplate your coffee order
*See a previous post for more information on this
6) While waiting for passengers to exit the subway car (or not wait,as often is the case), jump in front of the courteous rider who briefly stepped out to make room for your impatient ass.
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