Things That Exist But Shouldn't - Part 12

12) Sorry, Not Sorry

Perhaps one of my favorite hashtags, #sorrynotsorry perfectly embodies a disingenuous apology for something about which you feel guilty.

A few exampls of modern usage:

I ate the last cupcake #sorrynotsorry

Got kicked out of Starbucks for staying too long without buying more #sorrynotsorry

Took 3 extra items into the dressing room #sorrynotsorry

You get that point.
However, there are times that I am genuinely sorry for things, in which case I simply say "sorry." That usually does the trick, unless of course the person doesn't believe you.

Yesterday, I walked into Grand Central Station to surrender 4 hours of my life to the Apple Store (but I can't complain, I got the new iPhone 5S and it's perfectly awesome). As I walked in, a custodial worker was crossing the hallway with a large bag of recycling. He was crossing at a diagonal while I (and 100 other people) walked parallel.

See diagram below:


|                         Man  |
|                     -             |
|               -                   |
|         -                         |
|         -                         |
|       Me                       |
| Flatbed                     |

I realized that he was walking towards the spot that I would soon be approaching, but figured he would divert his path to:
a) go with the flow of traffic 
b) go towards the flatbed truck behind me to which he would be unloading the bag.

He did not change course, and thus I lightly bumped into the bag. I said sorry, and continued walking, when I hear behind me, "No, you're not."

I turned around.

"Excuse me?"
--"You said you're sorry. You're not sorry."
"Yes, I am. I didn't mean to bump into you."
--"Yes, you did. You saw me coming and you walked right into me."
"I thought you were going to go around because that's where the empty cart was. I'm sorry."
--"No, you're not! Stop saying you're sorry if it wasn't genuine. I know you're not sorry."

At this point, I walked away. 
I was completely taken aback; who was he to tell me that I wasn't sorry?! Like I said, I'm a huge fan of being sorrynotsorry when appropriate, but this was not one of those times. I was genuinely sorry for the light collision, and could not believe that he was attacking me because he believed otherwise.

I began to write the day off as a very negative experience, until some absolutely wonderful employees at the Apple store made my day by getting me the new iPhone and fixing my Mac for free. And then I indulged in an all-too-expensive cup of cappuccino from Irving Farm. Sorrynotsorry.