Things That Exist But Shouldn't - Part 13

13) Hangovers

I promise, I am not writing this post during/after experiencing one. (If I was, I would not have been able to focus on the computer screen for long enough to write this post.) However, I've had maybe one or two (I promise, no more than that, Mom and Dad), so I can attest to how brutal they are.

One of the gifts/curses of being a science major is that you understand exactly what is going on biologically. 

One time, at a bar, I went up to the bartender and told him that "my MEOS pathway is in overdrive." 
His response? "Well, that's the first time I've heard that one."

Hangovers suck because you feel like you're paying your body back for all the abuse you did to it the night before.

-A round of tequila shots = a construction site inside your head
-Power hour = not waking up until 3 PM
-Getting iced = eating only dry crackers for your meals

I think the worst part is that after you experience (and survive) one, you promise yourself that you are never going to do this to yourself again. And you mean it. But at some point or another, you end up hungover again, swearing lifelong sobriety to the porcelain gods.