1) Be featured on Humans of New York.
I'm pretty sure that almost every New Yorker, tourist, and introvert who dedicates his time to stalking others on the internet has a very real desire to make it on to this iconic blog. I will admit that whenever I'm wearing a particularly unique outfit, I secretly hope that Brandon Stanton will choose that day to find me.
2) Learn how to keep orchids alive.
I cannot manage to keep these flowers alive, no matter how infrequently I water them or keep the plant out of direct sunlight (apparently, those are the counter-intuitive instructions for growing them). I'm embarrassed to admit the number of times that I have unsuccessfully tried to grow them.
3) Learn enough of an exotic restaurant to order food at an exotic restaurant.
It is a super impressive talent when someone can waltz into a fancy restaurant that serves foreign cuisine and effortlessly interpret the menu and order in the cuisine's respective language. You just have to hope that the waitstaff also knows the language...
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